It's been a while, almost a year.....although i'm right back where i was back then i did achieve some sort of short-lived recovery so i know i can do this. I've also made a decision to seek professional help this time and yes i will be medicating once again....i vowed never to do this but it's the only way if i'm going to have anything that could be called a 'normal' life?

Look, i'm not well and i know this....the way my mind works is flawed/wrong but this is how it is so the thoughts and feelings however mis-guided or incorrect they are real, well to me anyway so therefore are real and factual? If i've made my mind up about something however unfounded it's real, does that make sense? .....Probably not!

Christmas was hard, not had any contact with the family since the start of October.....my parents are such a problem to me, they make me feel so unhappy and don't seem to care or rather don't know how to care?

I wrote a letter to them but didn't have the balls to send it......